shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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