the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
