dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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