Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
