i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize