Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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