I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
