He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
