So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
