I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
