I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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