But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
