Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
