Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize