she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
