dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
