I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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