He managed to light the Jello on fire...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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