I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
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