Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
