foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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