I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
