Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize