What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
