Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
