No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We don't watch enough power rangers
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
