you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
