help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is it because I queefed?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
