in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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