it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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