i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
