look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
