So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
