Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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