he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
