Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
