its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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