i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
