well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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