Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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