I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
