Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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