I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
