Girls should come with a carfax report
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize