My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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