eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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