Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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