none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so explain again why im purple
no
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
