You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
