Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
