My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
