So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
