I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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