butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just tell him i said nine months
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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