This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
