At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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