A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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