bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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