Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
