Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
