do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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