my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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