i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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