Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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