hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
