His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
