Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
