He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
